Fear and Control

There are people who would like to control you, and they hold the reigns of government. They know that one of the most effective ways to control people is to scare them. They seek to undermine your sense of security, in order to bolster your fear (thereby increasing their control). These people could be rightly described as terrorists, and the TSA does nothing to track their actions or protect us from them.

The antidote to this fear is not more control. That belief promotes and supports the fear. We've been trying that, in an almost infinite number of iterations, and look where it's gotten us: bloated war debt, bloated health care costs, bloated legal costs, bloated regulatory systems, bloated political system, etc. We are living in an insane asylum.

The antidote is to wake up; to see that who you have believed yourself to be cannot, ultimately, be protected. You were born with a death sentence. It's just a matter of time. But the Being you actually are, cannot be threatened, ever, in any fraction. These words are empty, but the experience which confirms them is full. Once you know who you actually are, then you can relax and let the chips fall where they may, knowing that even though everything which can be perceived is temporary, You are eternally safe.

~ Carson Boyd

About three years ago I dedicated myself to surrender. My recurring prayer became, please show me what is available in surrender, and beyond my identity. My report is this paid off, big time. I found that as identification subsides, what is here, is simply what is here, and without the obsession to evaluate it, there is complete, unqualified, contentment. The one who would want, is quiet, and miracle of miracles, I find that I already have e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g I want. Not that identity never reasserts itself; so far, it does. Maybe I'll be done with that one day. Who knows? Who cares?

Mermaids and Male Orgasms

As mythology has it, mermaids hang out near the shore, they are, of course, naturally feminine and they sing songs, siren songs, which are mesmerizing to the sailors who hear them. These songs have a beaconing quality to them. Their message is: I need you. I want you. Come to me. Come closer; closer still. Come to me. I will receive you.

It is said that sailors who become enraptured with these siren-songs would move ever closer to the shore, only to eventually find their ships destroyed as it crashed upon the rocks.

So what does all of this have to do with the male orgasm? Plenty. Speaking as a male, in my experience, there is something mesmerizing about the feminine, and it isn’t necessarily represented in physical song, although it can be. The epitome of this, for me, is k.d. lang. When she expresses it, she is the feminine siren song; beaconing me to surrender.

Now, back to orgasms. So here I am being enchanted by the feminine. Granted, it occurs in the moment, as being enchanted by a particular female, but I’d like to reference it in a broader context, for the sake of this conversation, as the Feminine Principal. This connects to, and is embodied by pretty much every woman. And this feminine principle (whether verbally or not) says pretty much the same things that the mermaids say to the sailors. Come to me. I need you. I want you. Come closer; closer still. I will receive you. Let me hold you and give you the gift of my being. Enter me and give me the gift of your seed.

Then during the experience of sex there is a ramping up of this dance where “She” is calling me closer and I am reaching higher and higher states of surrendering to her, as she surrenders to me. The magnetic attraction to this surrender continues to increase, until it eventually reaches exponential growth, the closer it gets, the stronger it is. It becomes something that I simply can’t turn away from. Whatever is going to happen, I am fully committed. My breathing accelerates, my thrusting accelerates, my attention is completely captivated by what is happening in the moment. At this point, I am not having sex, we are not having sex, our bodies and our Being is having sex, and we are just along for the ride.

And then there is an explosion. I am done for. I (my ship) has crashed upon the rocks and my being shatters into a million fragments, as if it were an image on a piece of glass. I am left with no-thing, with emptiness; something inside me becomes very quiet. Relaxation washes over me and I collapse. The insatiable drive which was animating me, just moments ago, is over and for a time, I am left with an absence of identity, and absence of thought, just peace. At this moment, all I want to do is rest in this quietness.

Through the process, the masculine principal has been brought home. We followed our attraction to the feminine principal; we vigorously pursued it, and had our way with it. Somehow, in the dance, our having our way with It, was actually It having It’s way with us. When we finally achieved this union and fully embodied it with our partner, we became, for a time, destroyed in the process. She led us back to our primordial being. We return home and experience what it is like to be whole; to be undivided; to be beyond masculine and feminine; to contain both. We rest in that completeness. Then, if we can bare the vulnerability, we fall at her feet, in gratitude for what she has provided.

~ c a r s o n
November 28, 2010

All's Well That Ends Well

I do tend to come down on the side of everything is okay, and here is part of my thinking. I have this idea that outside of time, everything that is going to happen, has already happened. It's a done deal, and it all works out. Eventually everybody wakes up, everybody comes home, no one is left out, it ends well. Now, granted, that's a big ol' leap, but I'm comfortable with it.

So we have this saying, All's well that ends well. Well, I'm saying that it ends well. If you can go that far with me, then what happens between now and then, is just what happened. It was part of the process of it working out. Therefore, I can bless ALL of it. It's all part of the solution. One could tell a story that the resolution should have looked differently, but we can't know that is true, and Reality suggests otherwise. So, everything's okay.

Said another way, "Perfection is a state where everything is the way that it is, and is not the way that it is not. As you can see, reality is already perfect. Don't lie about it." ~Warner Erhard

Contrary to Love

What is it that is contrary to Love? It is a tricky question and I would like to point out that the questions is not what is Love contrary to, for Love is contrary to nothing. Another way of saying this is, Love does not oppose that which opposes it. However, one of the fundamental truths about Love is that it is the opposite of fear, so we could say that anything which promotes fear is contrary to Love. That would range from terrorists on one extreme to judgmental thoughts on the other. Another attribute of Love is Unity. Therefore, ideas or actions which have polarization as their goal are contrary to Love. So, as you can see, religion and politics... pretty much contrary to Love.

Why is it that so few people are actually free? It is because they try to conform to some idea, concept, or belief about who they are, or what should be. They have a story of themselves which is inevitably based upon a past. They then set about comparing what is, to their story; judging and evaluating how well reality measures up to what they declare it is, or should be. But the frustrating thing about this is Reality doesn't care what you think of it. Reality just goes on being what it is, regardless of opinions to the contrary.

People think that they must be true to themselves, as if there is a you, which was revealed in some previous time, that remains in this moment. But the personality (or identity) is always in flux. You can never be true to your self by being loyal to the story of a past, for you are not in that past. It is dead and gone, and certainly not here in the present. If it were we wouldn't call it the past. We would call it the present.

This idea that your identity is actually represented by your story of who you are is so ingrained in our culture that there are those who teach that the way to have more self-esteem is to create a better story of who you are; focus intently upon it, and thereby become/be it. But who you are cannot, ever, be contained by a story. You are bigger than that.

Freedom is about the natural state, the spontaneous and unrestrained expression of self as it arises in this moment, and the willingness to abandon that experience of self as it transforms into something different in a new moment. You cannot control your way to freedom. You cannot concentrate your way to heaven. If you want to find it, see that the very idea of "someone who is in control" is a concept created by the mind, and lay it down. Don't touch it. If you touch it, it will bite you. Surrender is the ticket, and there is nowhere to get to.