Why is it that so few people are actually free? It is because they try to conform to some idea, concept, or belief about who they are, or what should be. They have a story of themselves which is inevitably based upon a past. They then set about comparing what is, to their story; judging and evaluating how well reality measures up to what they declare it is, or should be. But the frustrating thing about this is Reality doesn't care what you think of it. Reality just goes on being what it is, regardless of opinions to the contrary.
People think that they must be true to themselves, as if there is a you, which was revealed in some previous time, that remains in this moment. But the personality (or identity) is always in flux. You can never be true to your self by being loyal to the story of a past, for you are not in that past. It is dead and gone, and certainly not here in the present. If it were we wouldn't call it the past. We would call it the present.
This idea that your identity is actually represented by your story of who you are is so ingrained in our culture that there are those who teach that the way to have more self-esteem is to create a better story of who you are; focus intently upon it, and thereby become/be it. But who you are cannot, ever, be contained by a story. You are bigger than that.
Freedom is about the natural state, the spontaneous and unrestrained expression of self as it arises in this moment, and the willingness to abandon that experience of self as it transforms into something different in a new moment. You cannot control your way to freedom. You cannot concentrate your way to heaven. If you want to find it, see that the very idea of "someone who is in control" is a concept created by the mind, and lay it down. Don't touch it. If you touch it, it will bite you. Surrender is the ticket, and there is nowhere to get to.
